R.I.P.

Once upon a life I knew where my heart dwelt...

A past memory of how my heart felt..

Many times over my emotions were your target..

You left a gaping hole passing through it was nothing but regret..

It doesn't come from me loving you..

It comes from me allowing myself to..

I always thought you, & I were until death did us part..

It wasn't for years that I realized you had no heart...

You were a monster in sheep's clothing just to charm your way in..

We were an ending that should've never became fake friends..

It's hurtful but true..

You were never meant for me, & I never for you..

I need to close the doors I left open cause their causing me nothing but pain..

I have to let go if I want to remain half sane..

A death to a life I thought we had together..

It was just my plans you wanted no parts of ever.

Death of our love, did us part..

I'll be okay, once I mend my broken heart..

For now it'll have to be what it will be..

For now my love shall just R.I.P. 

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HEALING

Healing. 

I once took a chance of giving my heart.. 

The 1st time was just infatuation,

So that quickly fell apart..

The next time I surrendered my emotions..

That too was an illusion filled with covered up lies and lack of devotion..

The last time I gave my heart, body, & soul..

How it ended left me shattered, with a damaged heart left cold..

The love I had to share with those that have trashed it, should've been for self..

surrendering love seems extremely bad for your health

Will I ever love again? Well that's unknown..

I have trust issues. So much so, that for now I'd just rather be on my own.. 

Will I feel like this forever? That I don't know..

All my movements from this day forward will be done on the slow..

I'm in no hurry to add one more break to my still fragile heart..

I'm in no rush to build something new that will only fall apart. 

I'm taking the time I need to heal, & get back to me

I am letting go, & letting God decide what's next to be

Healing is the hardest part..

Especially when your mending a broken heart..

Wish I could unlove someone, that would make my life so easy..

I can't.. The love won't just go away that easily.. 

I can say I'm dealing..

It's going to be a long process healing.. 

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